i love you

image via cfab.org.uk

Have you ever considered that our thoughts create our reality? That with negative thoughts and self doubt we create the failure that we were so afraid of in the first place? Or that conversely, we can create the life we want by harnessing the right thought patterns?

It sounds crazy, right?

I thought so too, up until recently.

Think of the people you know or know of who are very successful in life. People who are happy, doing work they love, having positive relationships, financially secure. I am quite confident that any person who achieves this type of success in life has good self esteem. Their internal mantra would affirm their success, their happiness, their good fortune.

Now think about someone, possibly yourself, who is successful in one or multiple areas of their life, but may have problems in other areas. Does their internal dialogue reflect this disparity? Do they have great things to say about their love life for example, but complain about how unfulfilling their job is?

You may be thinking, of course they complain about their job, their boss is a douche canoe. And they have the most wonderful partner, lucky bastard. It’s a chicken or egg scenario. Maybe all this stuff just happens to us. Maybe we get lucky sometimes and unlucky sometimes and everything evens out. Or maybe it doesn’t even out, and life is unfair and sexist and racist and elitist and ageist and … ( insert all other ‘ist’ words you can think of).

But maybe life isn’t just a series of stuff that happens that is largely out of our control. Maybe we find ourselves in toxic relationships, boring jobs and without enough money because our internal mantra doesn’t allow us to move beyond these hurdles. Maybe on a subconscious level we are attracted to or attract or choose everything that happens to us.

Sit with that for a minute. Does it make you angry? If it does, I get you, it made me angry too, when I first read it.

However after a while, the thought becomes empowering. All of a sudden, it’s not our boss or our partner or our parents or in-laws or friends that are holding us back, it’s ourselves. And if it’s ourselves, then we can take our power back and change the situation.

The question is, how do we change the situation? How do we get our power back?

According to Louise Hay, it all starts with loving ourselves. Loving ourselves unconditionally, just the way we are, right now. Even though we may be carrying a few extra kilos, even though we may have a hot temper, even though we may have motivation problems or commitment issues or financial worries. We need to love ourselves in a kind and compassionate way, free of vanity or arrogance. Arrogance and vanity are born of fear, not love. We need to love ourselves the way we would a small child who has fallen over and scraped their knee and is looking to us for a hug.

When we love and accept ourselves, our lives just start to flow. If we love ourselves, our tortured relationship with food heals. If we love ourselves, others are able to love us too and our relationships become easier. If we love ourselves, we ask for a fair price for our services.

I know all of the above is true for me. Self criticism and guilt has never helped me. Ever. I get stuck in these toxic thought cycles that can spiral into depressive episodes. It’s hard to feel motivated when I feel worthless.

So enough of that. Be gone, self hatred!

My new mantra: I love and accept myself unconditionally right now.

What do you love about yourself? What don’t you love about yourself? Do you think you can start to love the bits of yourself that you don’t love currently?

Louise Hay is a truly authentic, walk-the-talk, inspirational life changer. She has written a suite of books, and a lot of her work is available on audio as well. A search on youtube brings up a large range of talks by Louise, including one titled How to Love Yourself. I recently bought her book You Can Heal Your Life and I cannot recommend it highly enough.